Domestic Violence Recovery

The Journey Back From Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Check List - "Am I Being Abused?"

First you struggled to find safety. Yet have you found peace of mind? Guilt, anger, sadness, anxiety and stress often show up in the aftermath of abuse. For example, do you:

  • Feel guilty or “selfish”, at times perhaps not even knowing why?
  • Blame yourself for any part of the abuse you endured, or for staying in an abusive relationship?
  • No longer feel satisfaction or pleasure in your favorite activities or with family and friends?
  • Find that anger or stress regularly interfere with relationships, sleep, work or taking care of children?
  • Often or easily feel overwhelmed and stuck?
  • Have nightmares, flashbacks, or startle easily?

“Unlearning” the Trauma of Abuse

The feelings and behaviors listed above often come after someone has gone through a physically and/or emotionally abusive relationship. In some ways they are like habits that are learned.

Many of them, such as fearfulness, are taught by the person who perpetrated the abuse as a way to control you. And some behaviors were learned as a way to cope with the abuse itself; to make sense of and survive what felt like an unreal and unbearable situation.

Yet however these habits showed up, they can be unlearned.

Please note: these habits can’t be unlearned if you are still living with abuse. If that’s the case, please stop here and read this page.

Positive Changes Are Within Reach

We have training and experience in helping survivors of domestic violence and intimate partner abuse. We work at your pace, with a focus on helping you unlearn the fears and compulsive behaviors that have come as a result of the abuse you survived.

In our conversations we will unravel patterns of past abuse and the thoughts that came from surviving the abuse. We will look closely at identifying your wants and needs. And we’ll challenge and change ways of thinking and behaving that have kept you from getting your needs met.

The focus will always be on becoming empowered, increasing your sense of safety, and maintaining your freedom from abuse and its aftermath. I will commit to supporting you so that you feel safe, stay motivated, and work effectively towards your goals. You’ll learn to:

  • Manage stress so that you can think clearly and with a fresh perspective on old problems
  • Get free of the parts of past abuse that keep you tied to overwhelming feelings
  • Stand up for yourself, and yes, even put yourself first without guilt trips
  • Stop blaming yourself for staying in the abusive relationship
  • Let go of anger that doesn’t help you or your family
  • Watch for and assess feelings and thoughts that might lead you back to abuse
  • Believe in your own power to accomplish your goals

How Much Does it Cost?

Our rates are very competitive with psychotherapists in the Ventura, Calif., area. We also offer a sliding scale for persons who are experiencing financial hardship. In addition, victims of crime may qualify for a state-funded program that provides counseling for victims of domestic violence and other traumatizing crimes.

Start By Calling

Schedule a free consultation with me at (805) 648-2805 or contact us via this site. We look forward to helping you find greater peace, confidence and success.